Anonymous
by BlackBird223
Summary: Shepard is unusually pissed at most things and is feeling particularly lonely. That is until she starts getting messages from an anonymous person that makes her feel special. Well a different special than the First Human Spectre. Garrus/FemShep. Rating for future language and violence and who knows what else.
1. Chapter 1

So I had the urge to write a Shekarian fic that was longer than a one shot and had some semblance of a plot (nothing too complicated, of course) and so this is the fruits of my labour! Anonymous love letters have probably already been done but so have vampires so whatever (don't ask where that came from please.)

And if I sound really odd that's because it's three in the morning here in Nova Scotia.

Disclaimer: I own nothing~~~ Bioware has all the beautiful children~~

* * *

There had not been a day like this in a long time, not on any planet that they had landed on that was inhibited. The clouds roared above the heads of the now soaked marines that lay upon the ground.

"Commander, this is getting a little ridiculous." The speaker was a man, late twenties, dark hair along with dark brown eyes. He lay next to two women, one with light brown hair falling in front of bright green eyes. The other woman, with a tight dark bun with large brown eyes looking down at the man sitting at the café below them. Said woman parted her large lips to let out air, with a hint of boredom.

"He's is right, ma'am, There's nothing here." The bright green eyes turned to the woman.

"So let me get this straight, Williams. That man down there has absolutely no information on Saren, the bastard that we've been tracking for weeks, months one could even say if they were counting?" The woman sighed again but this time in resignation. The Commander then turned to the man of the party. "And Lieutenant Alenko, you're telling me sitting here on this planet, that rains twenty-four-seven, and watching the man who certainly" She gave a pointed look at Williams, "knows a hell of a lot more than we do about the bastard." The Commander looked expectantly at Alenko, looking for a response of any kind. "We're all good then? Good. Now can we please get back to the task at hand or is there something else that is unimportant that we need to talk about?" Not waiting for an answer the Commander looked towards the man of interest.

Williams shook her head at the Commander and looked to Alenko with a raised brow. Alenko just shook his head and turned back to the target.

"Williams?"

"Euh, yes? Commander?"

"Now tell me, what exactly do you see down there?"

"Well ma'am, there is- oh, I see the problem."

"And tell me what the exact problem is?"

"That, guy is gone." Williams cringed realizing that this was a very angry Commander.

"Pack your things and call the Normandy for pick up." The Commander got up and wandered away swearing lowly under her breath looking at her omni-tool. Williams grimaced at the wandering Commander and turned towards Alenko.

"Hey, Kaiden what's up with the Commander?"

He shrugged in response. "I think she was really counting on this guy being really important."

Williams raised her brow. "That cannot be it. There is no way that Skipper- the Commander sorry, would be so annoyed at losing him. He wasn't very hard to find after all. No I think she's having personal issues."

Kaiden made a humming noise in agreement. "You know? You're probably right, Ash." She smiled a big toothy smile at him. "But if I were you I would have called Joker before you came to chat with me.

Ash stopped her big toothy smile and immediately looked towards the Commander. Shepard was still preoccupied with the glowing orange tool attached to her arm. Ash sighed in relief and raised two fingers to her hear. "Hey Joker."

There was a little static before there was a chipper answer. "Why hello Ashley. What brings you to the small comm channel that connects us?"

"We're ready for pick up."

On the other line what was heard was the beeping of numerous buttons that Ashley couldn't even begin to say what each did. "Really? I thought you guys would be gone for waaaay longer than this."

"Yeah, well... the target kinda... got away."

There was a long silence before there was any kind of response was given. And of course that response was the laughter from a jackass. "Ohhohoho Gunnery-Chief Ashley Williams is in _deep _shit. How pissed is she?"

Ashley shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot and scratched the back of her head. Kaiden looked up from the bags that he was packing to look at Ashley quizzically. She shook her head and mouthed "Joker" and received a soundless "ah". "She hasn't yelled at us." Ashley waited for the snarky response that was bound to come but none came. "Joker, you still there?"

"Un-hunh, juuust making the final arrangements for your funeral."

"Joker!"

"I'm sorry Ash but I have never seen her not yell at someone for royally screwing up."

"Well..." She paused and looked up at Kaiden. "what about him?" She pointed an accusatory finger at Kaiden who raised his hands in defence the both not realizing that the pilot couldn't actually see their movements.

"What!? What happened was not me fault!"

"Umm Alenko, you started the conversation!"

"Well, you're the one that got her on that big shpeel!"

"_Shpeel_? Who even says that anymore?"

"Kids-"

"Uh, plenty of people, actually, _Williams_."

"Children-"

"_Excuse me?_ What do you mean "_Williams_"?"

"Guys she's gonna murder-"

"Joker shut-up!"

"Joker shut-up!"

"Heh, you should teach your children not to fight, Commander."

Ashley's eyes widened looking at Kaiden and Kaiden turned his head slowly towards to where Shepard had once been standing. It turns out that she was now very close to them. Ashley turned to a Commander with pursed lips and an unamused raised brow to accompany them.

Kaiden cleared his throat. "Bags are packed, ma'am." The word "ma'am" came out as a strangled whisper.

"And Joker is on his way, we radioed him... I'm just going to be quiet now."

The pair fell silent and avoided all eye contact with her as she stood there motionless, staring. This is all that happened between the event and the arrival of the Normandy. Nobody moved as the Normandy touched the ground. Another five minutes passed before Shepard spoke. "Get on the damn ship."

"Yes ma'am."

"Right away, Commander."

As the two marines rushed towards the ship they barely noticed that their commanding officer had not moved from her spot. Shepard sighed and once again looked at her omni-tool. She opened up the messaging system that she was currently using and opened the message, that had put her in a foul mood, for the seventh time since the morning.

* * *

_Shepard,_

_I don't know how to say this... but I don't feel the same way about you anymore. You've changed. You are not the woman that I feel in love with and I'm sorry but I think that it's time for the both of us to get on with our lives. With the duties that you have now I don't think that I will ever see you again to be honest. So please, I beg of you, don't hate me for doing what we both know is right. This relationship couldn't have been able to last any longer._

_Sincerely, John_

* * *

Shepard sighed sadly as she looked at the message one last time and decided to reply.

_John._

_You were an asshole anyway._

_Sincerely, Shepard_

_P.S I thought I told you to call me Lorna?_

* * *

She smirked to herself, sent the message and went to the ship to continue on their mission.

* * *

A/N: Ta-da! I had fun writing this, and writing this was way more fun than that essay! I have the next chapter on the go, so there will be more to come. And don't worry Garrus will actually show up in the next chapter. Cause there's no Shepard without Vakarian but that kind of happened this chapter...


	2. Chapter 2

I'm posting chapter two because I can. And Garrus is in this chapter so everything is imminently better. Also I've noticed that I may have based my Shepard off of Gibbs from NCIS... oh well.

Disclaimer: Not my peeps. These are Bioware's peeps.

_Note:_ Umm,there are no actual showers or anything on the ship...so... I made them on the lower deck because why not?

* * *

"-And so that's what happens when you put your hand in an old timey meat grinder." Shepard squinted her eyes the cause being the topic of conversation that she walked in on.

"Wha-what! That's horrible, why would anyone do that?"

"Well, Tali, people don't do it on purpose."

"Really? Well that's a relief."

"What did you think humans were that insane?"

"Well, you are an alien species to me Joker. I have no idea..."

The rest of the conversation slipped away as Shepard moved away from the two. Tali was new to, well new pretty much everything so Joker seemed to have taken on the role of traumatizer. She said low hellos and did nods of acknowledgement to the many marines that she passed. She didn't really absorb anything. She just really needed a shower. She rolled her shoulders just thinking about the warm droplets rolling down her dirty skin. "That's a habit of yours."

Shepard tensed at the sudden acknowledgement and interaction. "Oh, Garrus."

His mandibles did a little-thing, presumably about the complete lack of interest and the added weariness of her voice. He then cocked his head to the side and resumed the basically one sided conversation. "Yeah, I've noticed that when you have to be idle you see to have to move."

"Do I?"

"Yes Commander, you do."

"Well it's never been mentioned before now."

"Others see it as unimportant."

"I see. So Garrus, why do you feel the need to tell me now if it's so _unimportant_?"

Once again his mandibles twitched. "I... guess I'm trying to keep my observation skills top notch."

"So you observe me?"

"You are an interesting woman to observe."

"Am I?"

"That's what I just said didn't I?"

"I guess so." Garrus always managed to make her smile in a small way. He was young, even though she suspected that she was younger than him, not by much mind you. He was young and looked up to her, but that's not what made her smile. He wasn't technically under her command so he treated her differently. Wrex, Tali and Liara also treated her differently but they all had their own way of treatment. Tali looked at her like a sister. Wrex at the moment treated like an old war buddy, someone to respect but also talk smack to. Liara was obviously in love with her and it was awkward because she hadn't had the time to talk to her about that. Liara was a lovely person but she found no interest in Asari. And then, there was Garrus. Shepard wasn't sure what Garrus was really. He wasn't a brother, war buddy or lover. He was maybe a pupil? She moved her head to the side and hit a rather hard object. "Ah Wrex. Should have known that that was you behind me."

"Heh, you humans are so squishy. I still can't get over it."

"You know Commander, he's right. You humans have no natural protection it amazes me that you've managed to live this long."

"Thanks, Garrus. And why does the conversation, whenever I'm with the both of you- particularly you, Wrex, turn to talking about how squishy I am?"

Wrex and Garrus turn their heads towards one another and both shrugged. Wrex then faced Shepard. "Because. You're squishy and it's a horrible design flaw. Also I still can't believe that you don't have redundant nervous systems, that's just ridiculous."

"Wrex, Turians don't have redundant systems either."

"Well Turians are Turians, I can't say I'm that surprised."

"Yeah, alright boys break it up."

"Break it up? Commander nothing even got started."

"Ahaha but it was very close. Anyway what are you two doing? And where is the damn elevator? If it is broken again I swear."

"Well I'm going to assume that the elevator is having technical issues and well, Wrex and myself live on the lower decks so I don't think that it really matters on what we're doing but if you want to know we too are waiting for the elevator."

Shepard groaned and slumped against the elevator doors. She raised a heavy arm and got Adams on the line. "Adams. What the hell? Why is the Normandy on fire down there?"

"Don't! Worry ma'am. This is a small electric fire one that is not dangerous to the crew."

"Yeah, okay that's fine but I'm standing here wanting to go down along with a Turian and a Krogan and I personally want to know why the hell my ship is on fire."

The sound of fire extinguishers and yelling sounded before the Chief-Engineer could speak. Adams didn't speak to her for a while and Shepard idly rolled her shoulder.

"You're doing it."

"Piss off for a moment, Garrus."

"Sorry."

Shepard sighed with exasperation and had had enough. "Adams?"

"Oh, sorry ma'am we're just about done getting the elevator back on-line."

Shepard lit up like a Christmas tree. "Splendid! Send it up after you're done repairing it, and make sure the showers are functioning."

Adams chuckled. "Will do ma'am."

Shepard then settled comfortable against the edge of the elevator. "Wait. You live down there?" The two aliens nodded their heads. "Then where do you sleep?"

"I sleep near the Mako on a cot."

"_Why?_"

Garrus laughed and that metallic tinge that the Turians had rang loud and sent a shiver down her spine. "I sleep there because those bed things on this deck are made for humans and I-" He gestured to his body"-am obviously not human shaped now am I?"

"No I suppose you aren't... Is the quality of your cot good."

"It's good enough Commander."

"Mine's shit, Shepard."

She chuckled and turned away from the Turian towards the momentarily forgotten Krogan. "Does it smell bad and is not very comfortable?"

"Yes."

"Welcome to the Alliance, Wrex." She patted him on the shoulder and turned towards the elevator that had made that ping signalling it's arrival. She stepped into the elevator and the two aliens followed. They formed the typical Shepard in the middle formation, the one that was kept on missions. "Why do I always end up in the middle slightly in the front while in the elevator?"

"Me personally, I can't speak for Wrex, don't want to make you uncomfortable with my height."

"Hahaha, I'm sorry Garrus but I don't think you could ever make me feel uncomfortable."

"Good to know, Commander."

"And what about you Wrex, why put me here?"

"Habit, I guess. And instinct."

"Instinct?"

"If you're the one in the front than the chance of me getting shot is greatly lowered."

Garrus bursted out laughing at the Wrex's comment while Shepard mumbled something about why she even bothers trying to talk to these bastards. The rest of the elevator ride was in a comfortable silence, when all of a sudden Shepard swore loudly. "Fucking hell."

"Commander? Something wrong?"

"No Garrus. My harsh tone accompanied by the crude language indicates something wonderful has occurred to me."

"Joker uses what you're doing to me all the time. I believe it's called sarcasm."

Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose. "I'm sorry, Garrus, that was uncalled for. I just forgot my towel upstairs and now I have to do this elevator ride twice more because there are no spares in the bathroom at this time."

"Commander, you can just use mine, if you want."

"That...would be greatly appreciated Garrus, thank you."

"No problem Commander." The elevator pinged open and Shepard went out enough to asses the damage taken during the "small unimportant fire". And thankfully that's just what it had been. In a spot there was a charred area that was cornered off so no one would tamper with it. Shepard then stepped to the side letting out the agitated Krogan and the amused Turian. "If you would just follow me Commander." Garrus led her behind the Mako to the area that he called "home". He leaned under the cot that he was using that looked like it was very uncomfortable and pulled out a towel. "Here you are Commander."

"Once again, thank you very much Garrus. It may seem small but it's greatly need at this time." She turned around to leave but was stopped when Garrus beckoned for her.

"Commander! I meant to ask, are you alright? You seem...different today." Garrus stood, unblinking, awaiting for an answer.

"I'm fine, Garrus." And she turned and left towards the showers.

Garrus didn't move from that spot for a while until he snorted unceremoniously to himself. "Pft fine my ass, Shepard."

* * *

A/N: Aaand there it is the very quickly put up chapter two. I hope you all found some semblance of pleasure while reading this. So please you have taken time to read this, all I ask is a small review. A yay or a nay even. It can be lengthy too but I won't be greedy. Small reviews. That's all I ask. Don't worry, I don't bite.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Well here is the next chapter, so read up!

Disclaimer: Do I really have to keep reminding herself that I'm not the owner of these characters? *****sigh***** Guess so. Characters= not mine. Characters=Bioware's.

* * *

Shepard ran her fingers through her hair. Her fingers smoothed the wet strands back, letting the warm water reach her scalp. She sighed in content. This was her favourite part of the day, the part where she could stand in silence under warm waters and think about the little things and not the big ones. Like _John_. Her contentment quickly turned sour. Of all the times that the man she thought could be _the one_ goes off and breaks up with her. She let out another sigh (that seemed to be a frequent thing as of late) but this one of frustration. She took the soap and started to scrub furiously at her skin. "Um, Commander can we talk?" The soap slipped to the floor quickly as Shepard whipped around. What she was greeted with was a blushing Gunnery-chief Ashley Williams holding tightly to her towels and blushing furiously at the ground.

She chuckled, picked up the soap and turned back to the water. "Of course we can, Ash." She heard a breath of relief let out from behind her and then the removing of clothes. She waited till she could see Ash out of the corner of her eye and then proceeded the conversation. "So, what's up?"

The water from Ashley's shower head started running. "I wanted to know what was up?"

Shepard cocked her head towards Ashley. "What do you mean?"

She looked down at her feet, letting the water wash down her hair, and ring out onto the floor. "Well, I saw you've been looking at your omni-tool a lot more than usual and you seem to be very on edge, more than you usually are considering our circumstances but that message doesn't concern Saren does it?"

I chuckled darkly. "How are you still a Gunnery-chief, Ash?"

"Beats me but now you're avoiding the question."

"Damn, I had hoped that you wouldn't notice."

"Skipper, I'm asking as a friend. You can't keep things bottled up inside forever."

Shepard looked at the small blob of conditioner in her hands and started to massage it into her hair. "My... boyfriend broke up with me today."

"Your _what_?" Shepard looked over to Ashley who stood, mouth gaping.

"What Ash, you think that I'm a high ranking officer in the Alliance military, the first human Spectre, an d on a mission to save the universe, that I don't have time for something like a love life?" Shepard raised her brow waiting for a response.

"Well no! It's just that... well, I didn't think that you were the type to, I don't know, I guess _have_ a boyfriend. At all." Ashley turned back to the shower handle and fiddled with the temperature of the water. She sputtered out the next few lines carefully choosing her next sentence. "It's not that you're not pretty or anything like that Skipper, you're gorgeous, it's just that... you seem like a woman that doesn't really think about all that sort of stuff, you know?" Shepard crossed her arms. "I guess not, eh? Well look what I'm trying to say is that whenever you have a problem, _especially _boy problems, come and find me and vent because even the great Commander Shepard needs to vent every once and a while." She looked over with a huge grin on her face.

Shepard looked long and hard at her feet before giving a response. "Nine months."

"What?"

"It had been nine months since we first had started seeing each other."

"Nine is actually a while Commander."

"Call me Lorna, and yeah it is. You know what he said in the message?" Ashley shook her head and put a questioning look upon her face. "I'd _changed_. I wasn't the same woman he fell in love with. Like, total bullshit."

Ashley opened her mouth and widened her eyes in shock. "_Really? You've changed?_ Gah why can't they just say "I don't like you any more"?"

"I know! Would that really be so hard?"

Ashley's look of frustration turned into one of deviousness. "Well, it'll be alright Lorna because scuttlebutt says that someone on the ship is sweet on you."

Shepard's head whipped to look at Ashley. "Who?"

Ashley smirked. "I'm not gonna say right now. Maybe later, but not now." She winked and shut off her water and Shepard followed. The two walked over to their towels and proceeded to dry off. There was a long silence while the two were getting ready.

After they were dressed and fully done up Shepard spoke up. "You're such a tease."

Ashley laughed heartily. "Oh, I know." She sad wiping her eye. "Now come on Skipper, let's go see if the Alliance stocked any break up food, shall we?" Shepard laughed an agreement and the two marines headed off to the mess hall to dine on the fine foods of the Normandy.

* * *

The mess was not as busy as Shepard thought it was going to be. The only ones that were there were the people that she usually took on missions. She and Ashley arrived to see Kaiden and Tali wrapped up in conversation and Wrex and Liara arguing about something or other. Shepard spotted an empty seat next to the silent Turian and plopped down next to him. Ashley went next to Kaiden and successfully got the subject changed. Garrus turned his head towards and smiled what could be called the "Turian smile." It wasn't what a human would consider a smile but it was a smile that Turians called a smile therefore the "Turian smile."

"Those two have been at it since I sat down and that was half an hour ago." He gave a deadpan look. "They were also here before I was."

Shepard laughed. "What? Did Wrex immediately come back up when I left?"

Garrus snorted. "Pretty much. He felt the need to come over and tell me that he was bored and he wanted to find the doctor, so he could not be bored anymore. That guy is _old _and yet he acts like a child. It's just baffling." He shook his head is disbelief.

Shepard grinned and responded. "Well you know what about they say about old people and young hearts."

Garrus looked at her confused. "Actually I don't."

Shepard hummed. "Damn, I was hoping you did."

"Why's that?"

"Well because I don't even know if that's actually a thing."

Garrus laughed at that. "Heh, so did you come here to eat or to talk to me?"

"I came here to eat. You just happen to be a side benefit." Shepard answered as she sat up and moved to the food station. Garrus chuckled and looked at the people around. Liara and Wrex had dropped their conversation and had joined the mass conversation that consisted of Ashley, Kaiden, Tali and now Joker, Chakwas, Adams and Pressly as well. He proceeded to push Shepard's chair towards the growing group but before it was really moved a hand landed on his wrist. "I'm going to stay here with my reclusive Turian friend if that's alright with you?" He nodded with a chuckle accompanying it. The rest of the evening consisted of small petty jabs and joking between the two. Ashley would once in a while look over to the Commander and think to herself that it was as if she hadn't suffered heartbreak just that morning before.

* * *

Shepard looked around her "Captain's" quarters and sighed, her exhaustion finally catching up to her. She took off her uniform and put on her sweats and tank top, then settled down into bed. She was on the brink of blissful (or maybe not depending on the dreams that will come to her) sleep when her omni-tool pinged loudly in comparison to the dark silent room. "What in the-?" She muttered to herself as the bright orange tool came to life. She had received a message. She frowned. There's only two people that would message her this late and one was an Admiral and the other had just broken up with her that morning. She swished open the message and it read as:

_Hey Shepard,_

_So I heard that you're single now? I like that._

_From, Anonymous_

"Ahh shit."

* * *

A/N: Aaaand that's where I'm going to stop this chapter. I'm a little crazy I know. This updating very quickly, yeah it's a miracle. And I would like to thank the first guest, I'm glad you're enjoying it and thank the second guest for notifying me, fixing that was a freakin pain the ass but I managed. Chapter two was chapter two on the mobile version but not chapter two on the regular version and I won't really get into it but I'll just have you know there was many hours of confusion. Anyway, if you like, it tell me! If you don't, tell me even though I probably will be sad about it!


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Out with another chapter, very exciting isn't it? Sooo, Garrus has turned out to be a little less ME1 and more like the end of ME2 Garrus. But that's fun right? That awkward, goofy turian is okay to have, at least in my books.

Aaaand I would also like to thank everyone that is following this story, just letting you know it's all of you that really make me want to write more!

Disclaimer: Dem be Bioware's characters.

* * *

Shepard had been staring at the message for the past twenty five minutes. She had written and re-written a response at least five times and she hadn't accepted anything as an appropriate response. At last she finally just put the first thing that she had planned on writing:

_To: Anonymous_

_Who the hell is this?_

_From: Shepard_

She bravely hit the send button. She racked her brain, wondering on how the hell this sort of thing could have happened. Realizing that she had only told one person on the ship in the first place she narrowed her eyes. _Ashley. _She swore furiously under her breath and started to move out of bed to wreak havoc upon the young marine. However her plans were interrupted when the ping of her omni-tool went off. Shepard froze and looked down despairingly at the orange device. She swiped open the messaging system and read:

_To Shepard,_

_Now Shepard, that really would take all the fun out of this._

_From: Anonymous_

Shepard groaned. She knew this was the beginning of a long and painful process. Maybe she would call in for harassment. Or get Tali to track this man,- wait it could be a woman. Wait, it could be not even human. Shepard paled at this revelation. It's not that she doesn't find aliens unattractive, that wasn't it all. It was the fact that it could be someone she does or does not know. She groaned and flopped face first onto her bed. She sighed and put her arm up and typed:

_To: Anonymous_

_Okay. Listen person or alien. I don't know what you're playing at but I think it would be better if you just told me who you are and we can just talk._

_From: Shepard_

She hit send and not minutes later a response came:

_To Shepard,_

_I already said that that would take the fun out of everything now didn't I? Besides, good job on thinking that I could be an alien I'm very proud of you._

_From, Anonymous_

She growled in frustration and quickly typed:

_To: Anonymous_

_Listen, condescending asshole, since you know that I've recently (like THIS MORNING) broke up with my boyfriend you have to know that I'm not looking._

_From: Shepard_

She hit send and didn't bother moving as she waited for the reply. It came quickly of course:

_To, Shepard _

_I swear, I wasn't being condescending or at least I wasn't trying to be. Look Shepard, I like you a lot in fact, so why don't we start a more pleasant chain of conversation?_

_From, Anonymous_

She peered at the message in long thought and finally replied:

_To: Anonymous_

_I don't like you._

_From: Shepard_

She sent the message but this time she didn't wait for an answer. She got up from her bed and moved out of her quarters in search of the Gunnery-chief. She crept quietly along the sleeping pods looking for Ashley sleeping soundly. Finally she came across her sleeping form. She looked so peaceful, sleeping quietly and looking like she was in a beautiful dream world. Shepard smiled softly, then turned away from the pod making a move away from her. That sweet idea of leaving the chief in the realm of dreams changed. Shepard swivelled around quickly and smacked her fists against the pod. Ashley's panicked eyes opened to a very angry and tired looking Shepard. In fact, this Shepard had very dark circles under her eyes and had this crazed look in her eye. "He-hey, there Commander."

Shepard let loose a wide manic smile. "Hey there, Ashley. How are you? You having a good sleep?"

_This is a trap _Ashley thought but she knew that she had to set it off to disarm it. "I'm good, Skipper and I was having a really good sleep." She cringed waiting for the blow back.

"Well I'm really, really glad because I have have a problem and I think that you are the source of it." Shepard spoke in a harsh rapid whisper.

Ashley sighed. "Listen Commander, why don't we go somewhere, oh I don't know, where nobody can here us." Ashley snapped. Shepard then yanked her out of the pod and dragged her to her quarters. As they entered Ashley shook out of the grip of the commander. "Skipper what is going on?"

Shepard sighed and turned around. "Somebody on this ship, I'm guessing at least, _knows _about what happened this morning."

"What are yo-"

"Somebody knows I'm very single, Williams!"

"Oh, shit Lorna, that soon?"

Shepard sighed fatigue really setting in. "Yes this soon."

"Well I can tell you who to blame because it is not me."

Shepard whipped up her head to a smiling Ashley. "Who is sending me the messages?"

Her face fell into a frown. "Not...that part of your problem, which honestly doesn't seem like a problem to me personally, but I _can _tell you how word got out." Shepard rose her eyebrows in question. "Commander...Joker was spying on us in the showers."

"Fucking he- I should have known that bastard would do something like this. Dammit." Shepard continuously swore under her breath while Ashley chuckled quietly in the corner.

"Hehe, so Commander, may I go back to bed?" Shepard waved her away giving her permission to go back.

Shepard grabbed her hair in frustration. She decided that she would ambush Joker while he was flying the ship so he wouldn't be able to run away. Well, not that he would be able to _anyway _but it was just more convenient for herself. She sighed once again, for the thousandth time today and moved to her bed to lay down. Once down she she settled down eyes drooping, she curiously moved them to the now alight omni-tool. It read as two unread messages. She opened them to see that both were from the Anonymous person:

_To Shepard,_

_I completely understand that you don't like me. I mean, you know nothing about me. You don't know my gender (male I'll give you that one), my race, you don't know if I'm on or off your ship (you can probably guess you are a very smart woman and that makes you very attractive might I add). So you know what Shepard? I'm going to get you to like me. You're going to like me even though you've never (maybe?) met me. And by the way, that's what love is. Not kicking you out the door because I'm afraid that you've changed and by changed I mean become an even stronger woman than before. And you know what I'm not going to make any advances until you're ready, until you know who I am personally._

_From, Anonymous_

Shepard read this message over. Twice. By now she was sitting up with a confused look on her face. "Goddamn why did he have to go all nice and flattering on me." She groaned and rubbed her eyes. She then opened the next message curious as to what he may have forgotten to do:

_To, Shepard_

_Oh and by the way, goodnight and sweet dreams._

_From, Anonymous_

Shepard closed her omni-tool grumbling to herself. She then reopened it and quickly and reluctantly replied:

_To: Anonymous_

_Goodnight._

_From: Shepard_

She laid down and stared at the ceiling for what felt like hours and drifted off to sleep.

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A/N: Hooray, I'm finished yet another chapter! I hope that you've all enjoyed it and review if you feel like it (But I mean come on it's the fourth chapter give me something, alright?)!


	5. Chapter 5

Wooow, I rewrote this chapter like seven times, no joke. Just things were not right at all and I'm still not entirely pleased with how it came out but it is what it is. But RL has been exciting for me I am now in the Nova Scotia Youth Orchestra and this is a big deal and I'm just so awesomely happy.

_Note: _I'll guess I clear this up since it's been asked, this Shepard I guess is more of a renegon character than anything and her background is colonist, sole survivor (I know I'm horrible)

Disclaimer: Bioware owns these characters, I'm just borrowing them for a playdate.

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Shepard woke to the usual horrible droning of her beeping alarm on her left and slammed her palm down on the poor unsuspecting clock. She opened a weary eye to see the numbers 05:00 am in bright orange numbers. She swung her legs over the side of her bed and then stretched her arms in the air only to fall back. Minutes later she got up and went out of the room heading towards the mess hall. Normally she would immediately change into her uniform but today she wanted to shlep around for just a couple more minutes. When she entered the mess hall the usual suspects were there; Chakwas was quietly speaking with Adams over their respective cups of coffee. Except instead of Ashley, Joker and Kaiden speaking and then Wrex, Tali, Liara and Garrus all talking to each other there was a massive group of all of them instead of the two groups and Garrus was missing from the massive group. Shepard frowned and went to go get her breakfast. When she got back the Turian had still yet to arrive. She shrugged her shoulders thinking that she would check up on him after breakfast. She sat eating her breakfast quietly and contently and it was minutes before she realized that the conversations from both the small and large group had stopped and started staring at her. "Do you all need something?" She asked with a drawl to her voice.  
Everyone stared at her and then looked around at each other. Joker (the foolish man) decided that he was the best candidate to answer her question. "Well we were just wondering how you're feeling today?" He gave her a wide grimace which quickly turned into an expression of terror as Shepard slammed her palms onto the table and leaned in over himunable to contain the rage from very early that morning and couldn't wait for later when he was alone in the cockpit.  
"Flight Lieutenant Jeff Moreau oh are you in the deepest shit of your life. I would like to know why the **fuck**,you were listening in on the woman's showers yesterday at 15:00 hours? You know what I don't need an answer, because if I hear anything about you doing anything like this ever again, I swear to you Jeff, that you will be off _my _ship faster than you can say I wishthe Commander had ripped off my arms instead." Shepard was about to continue when a soothing voice came from behind her and a gentle hand was placed on her shoulder.  
"Shepard. I think that's enough." The whole room held their breath as they waited for the backlash but instead they could see her body just relax and she slumped back into her chair.  
Shepard placed her face into her hands. "Joker, I'm so sorry. That was very unprofessional of me."

The Turian smiled softly. "Nobody here is blaming you Shepard. Why don't you go grab the mission log and we'll see what we've got going for us today?"

Shepard nodded left and returned with the data pad in hand. She sat back down and cleared her throat before speaking. "So today there are many options that we could have for a possible mission or missions. One is going to Hawking Eta, another is going to the ah, Voyager Cluster. Another is um." She stopped and stood abruptly. "How about you all decide today's mission." She quickly walked out to the elevator while the mixed group sat stunned into silence, the question so obviously an order it hurt. 

"Uhh what the hell was that?" Joker was the first one to speak as soon as the elevator was moving.

Ashley gave a pointed look at Joker. "That was all on you and you _know _it. You deserved that. And why? Because you _never _spy on anyone while they're taking a shower, I mean who does that?"

Joker clenched his fists. "I swear to you that I only did that because I was- no _am _concerned for her. Did any of you talk to Shepard right after the mission went awry? Because I saw her, while I was talking to Tali kind of stomp angrily out of the decontamination chamber and then she moped for a sec then she put on her big brave Commander Shepard face. So thinking gee something's up I looked into the chamber and you know what I saw? There is a freaking **dent**, yeah that's right a_**dent **_in the siding of the chamber. The Commander punched a dent into something that is very very hard to dent. So knowing that she would never actually tell me what the hell was up I decided to see if she would talk about it with someone else and then she did. Guys, look I'm just really really worried about her, okay?" Joker sat, breathing heavily and Chakwas rose and put her hand on his shoulder.

"It's alright Jeff, I think we all get it. I just think that there may have been a better approach to how you handled that situation." Chakwas smiled down at Joker like a child that made a mud pie for his mother, the good intention was there but all it did was create an annoyed mother (Shepard being the annoyed but in this case pissed, mother). "Now Jeff, who exactly knows about this?"

He put his hand on his chin. "Well, let's see... there's Ashley, Tali," Tali laughed sheepishly. "Wrex, Garrus and is that it?" The three aliens noddedconfirming that that had been it. "So yeah to those that are wondering Shepard got dumped yesterday." Joker flinched waiting for Ashley to hit him as she jerked towards him but felt no pain from a blow. He peeked open one eye as he saw her just smirking at him and he stuck his tongue out childishly. Everyone sat around quietly not knowing what to really say to one another, this being the first time where it wasn't mandatory for all of them to be together, Joker was again the first one to speak. "Hey you all know what? I think we should take this time to get to know one another." Some raised their eyebrows in scepticism, others snorted (Wrex) as if it were a joke. "No guys I'm serious here! Listen, we all need to get to know each other. None of us really know one another right?" A lot of heads nodded their agreement. "Yeah and if we're all going to fight together we should know the kind of people we are counting on having our backsyeah?"

Kaiden cleared his throat. "The Commander asked you to do this didn't she?"

Joker laughed. "Yeah...she did and that was like two months ago so I thought that actually doing would put the edge off of her for a little bit. Here I'll go first, I became pilot of the Normandy by hijacking her and avoiding the authorities."

Ashley spit out her drink. "Joker are you kidding me?" He shook his head. "Well then I guess it's my turn to say something." She sat thinking hard. "What am I even supposed to say. I've never done anything like that."

Joker shrugged. "I don't know family stuff maybe?"

Ashley put her hand on her chin in thought. "Pff, well, I have three sisters."

Joker deadpanned. "Thank you, Captain boring." Ashley stuck her tongue out. "Anyone else?"

Tali shifted in her seat. "Well, I am a stowaway." Everyone looked at her. "I got to the citadel by hiding in a cargo bay of a ship."

Joker smiled. "Waaay to got Tali. Living on the edge!" People laughed as Tali hung her head in embarrassment.

"Well, I'm really old." Everyone turned to Wrex.

Ashley eyed him. "How old are we talking?"

"I was born in your Viking age human." the humans gaped at Wrex leaving some confused aliens. "And for those who don't know what the hell vikings are that's past a thousand years old." That left everyone in a bit of a daze of wonder.

Kaiden minutes later cleared his throat. "Well for those that don't already know, I'm an L2. Luckily for me I get off pretty easy with only migraines every now and then." Everyone nodded their heads.

Liara raised her hand. Joker looked at her. "Liara, you know that you don't have to raise your hand for this sort of thing."

She chuckled nervously. "Hehe sorry, old habits die hard, is what you would say. Well I am what is called in Asari culture a "Pureblood". This means that I am born from two Asari instead of one Asari and another race." She looked down ashamed. "In Asari culture, it is not something to be proud of."

"Bullshit." Liara looked up to see Ashley of all people. Liara knew that she was open about her dislike of aliens but her attitude at the moment was completely different. Liara opened her mouth, brows scrunched in a frown but Ashley never let her speak. "It's bullshit that you're being discriminated by your own people just because you have both parents of the same race. That is serious crazy talk. I mean in other races, that's kind of considered normal, you know having parents from the same race. But whatever I mean just voicing my opinion here is all."

Liara smiled at her. "I thank you Ashley. I had never thought of it that way before." Ashley gave a small smile and bowed her head. Kaiden looked at Ashley with pride, happy that she seemed to have started to accept the other races.

Adams and Chakwas both looked at each other and shrugged. Chakwas spoke for the both of them. "Well there's nothing to tell about us. We are old Alliance marines and that is all that there is to tell."

Joker smiled slyly. "Ah Karin, we'll get you to reveal those juicy secrets someday,"

She laughed. "The only way that's going to happen is if you get me drunk."

Joker's eyes opened in shock and certain people started laughing which led to a spontaneous bout from the entire room. He cleared his throat. "_Anyway _looks like there is only one person that hasn't shared any info." Everyone looked to Garrus, who was no longer there. Joker snorted. "Well now we know one thing. He's a sneaky bastard." This sent others in giggle fits. "Alright, quiet down, hooligans. Now what mission are we almost going to die on today?"

* * *

Garrus went down the elevator. He didn't feel like sharing any information about himself because he thought that there was nothing to share. When the doors opened he surveyed the large open room before him. She wasn't there so went around the corner to the core, when he arrived there was just the regulars keeping it stable. He frowned and went to the woman's washroom. He expected to have to knock and get yelled at but he then noticed that the door was wide open and a lack of women. He frowned and returned to the cargo bay. He went to the Mako and started the days preparations. He was typing along happily until he heard quiet muffled sniffling. He decided to go with his gut. "Shepard?" He called out. The sniffler kind of gasped and tried to suppress said sniffling but failed miserably in the process.

"I'm in here." He cocked his head rather like a bluejay (a creature from Earth Shepard had once explained to him because of the painting in her room).

"May I come in then?" There was a long paused before the side popped open. He shuffled over and closed the door behind him. "This is an interesting choice of place to breakdown Commander."

"Please call me Lorna, and I'm not having a breakdown I'm just being a stupid girl."

Garrus frowned. "Comm- Shepard, you're not stupid at all. When you like someone and they don't like you back it can be very hurtful. I completely get it."

She smiled while wiping her eyes with her sweater he hadn't noticed her wearing during breakfast. "Ah Garrus you sure do know how to make a girl feel better. Besides I've decided to move on from him. I mean I had to but now I _want_ to let go,not must must let go." She stood up as much as she could and started to the door but turned back. "And Garrus? You're right. When you really love someone, it's hurts when they blatantly disregard it." She turned and left.

Garrus looked longingly at the figure walking towards the washrooms. "Lorna you will never know just how much it kills you inside to have your love rejected by the one you not just love but also respect." Shepard turned around and waved at him with a giant smile and he waved back with the saddest that he had ever conjured.

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A/N: Well I made it a titch longer than normal because I've said it'll be out tonight! And it wasn't so I suck a little. So tell me what ya think, I know that it was a little sadder than the other chapters but I was listening to sad cello music and I just was feeling it. So again, review but only if you're comfortable doing so!

P.S If you see any mistakes that make you shudder in disgust please tell me. I don't like to see you all suffer.


	6. Chapter 6

I love all of you people, just thought I'd let you know. Fourteen reviews and thirty one followers, and over two thousand views you are all just way too awesome! Every one of you! Anyway other than that if any of you want something in particular to happen just PM me and I'll see if I can fit it in!

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The doors of the docking bay swooshed opened to an eerie silence. Shepard looked from side to side and pulled out her pistol. "Fucking hell... who decided to do this mission?"

As Garrus pulled out his assault rifle he chuckled. "I believe it was your idea Commander."

She snorted. "We're here now in this creepy-ass place and you're chuckling? You are completely unbelievable. Does anything scare you Garrus?"

_Only the thought of you dying. Or hating me. _"Not really Commander."

There was a small cough behind the two. They turned to the forgotten party member. Tali stood shifting from side to side, her shotgun twitching in her hand, anticipating a fight. "Well, goodie for you Garrus. I really dislike silent ships, Shepard can attest to that."

Shepard shook her head. "Alright, the sooner we do this mission the sooner we can return to the Normandy." The two squad members nodded in unison and they all continued on their way to the middle of the ship. As Shepard approached the room she looked around and held her hand up signalling for her team members to stop until the room was for sure, cleared. She nodded her head and started forward the nod signalling that it was safe for the pair to follow. She rounded the corner of a box straight into a containment cell. "Shit! Get back!" Garrus and Tali pressed their bodies to the large box for cover, Shepard however, did not make it to cover. Garrus heard a large explosion followed by a large thump against the wall. The smoke hadn't even cleared when he rushed out from behind the box to find the Commander. There he saw her, a smoking mass laying slumped against the wall. He rushed over, fear coursing through every fibre of his being. From the looks of her body it had been a fire containment cell.

"Dammit Shepard." He said as he looked at the cracked helm she wore while on ships. She always says whenever asked as to why she wears a helmet on a ship but not on world, that you never know what kind of people will be on a ship but you can pretty much guarantee that there are going to be mercs or monsters on world. Which always leads to the question then why wouldn't you wear a helmet if you know there are going to be things trying to kill you and always replies _because mercs should always know what the face of death looks like_. So now looking at the burnt Commander, Garrus was oh so grateful that they were on a ship not but ten feet away from the Normandy.

"What do we _do_, Garrus?" Garrus snapped back to reality as the wavering voice of the quarian came from beside him.

He looked at the young one beside him and spoke. "Well Tali," he said trying to sound calm. "We have two options; leave the Commander here and finish the mission or bring her back to the ship and then get a third member to help with the mission." Tali was about to speak when a scraggled breath breath came from below them.

"Finish... the mission."

"Shepard!" The two simultaneously said. Tali was about to argue when she spoke again.

"That's an order." Tali let out a little gasp and started sputtering nervously but Garrus stood and pulled her up with him.

He stared hard, down at her. "We'll be back as soon as we find out who the hell did this." Shepard managed a little snort before passing out. "Come on." He grabbed Tali's arm and led the way towards the cockpit. The pair were careful while passing all of the containment cell's for fear that all the others were sabotaged too. They made it to the area that held the three doors. Garrus had learned from Shepard that everything happens in the two sides of the ship and rarely in the cockpit itself. So he turned to the door on his right and stepped in. There was not a lot except a crate and an audio log. They moved to the log and pressed play. The recording of a woman speaking about the loss of "Jacob" and how she wasn't taking her meds because she needed to be focused so she could help him. "By the Spirits, this woman is utterly insane."

"I agree with you Garrus. How could a person be this distraught over losing someone." Garrus flashed to the thoughts that had occurred when he thought that she was dead. Rage and fear had boiled up inside him in milliseconds. He had wanted to find the person that had hurt her and kill them in the most painful way possible.

"I don't know Tali." Garrus told her feebly. Her snapped over to him and he _knew, _just _knew _that she was making a face at him. "Come on let's go see the other rooms." The two trotted across the room to the door and to the room across the hall. They opened a door to a man lying on a cot and another audio log. They walked cautiously but quickly not forgetting about the wounded Commander, to the man. They looked at the man's stats and monitors. Garrus scrunched his face. "This man, he's essentially dead."

Tali hummed her agreement. "There is nothing that we can do for him." She looked over to him. "Should we?" Garrus nodded and walked over to the console and pressed the necessary buttons that would shut down the man's life system. Slowly the beeping of the machine stopped and they walked over to the audio console. It was the doctor of the ship, Smith talking about how feeble minded the woman, Julia was and how seriously crazy she became after Jacob had died. She was depressed and then wouldn't take the meds and that was a bad combination. Garrus sighed too frustrated with everything to actually say anything and moved to the cockpit to see if there were any more audio and he suspected there was. And he was right they listened to the last log and in the middle the Captain shouted incredulously as Julia attacked and presumably killed him and the rest of the crew. When they opened the door of the cockpit, it opened to a woman at the end of the hall.

"I will destroy you!" The woman called and shot a carnage at them proceeded by rapid firing from a pistol. They get behind cover and went to work. They had gotten into a routine from all the missions that Shepard had brought them on. Garrus had fired a dampening at the crazed woman and Tali shot a sabotage. If she was a biotic she would be no problem and her weapons were done. Next a double overload because they were angry and then Garrus fired his assault at the woman and ended up overloading it. Garrus breathed heavily as he looked down at the woman's body.

He turned to Tali and spoke. "Come on. Let's go get the Commander and leave this hell hole." All she did was nodded and they made their way back to the Commander. The two hadn't thought of the possibility that that woman could have done something to the defenceless Commander but thankfully nothing had happened. The returned to the Commander attempting to stand up. Garrus rushed over and helped her to her feet and held onto her as she walked.

"I'm fine to walk by myself Garrus."

He snorted and continued to hold on. "Like hell you are Shepard."

She choked out a laugh. "Would you pick a name for me already? You continuously flop between Commander and Shepard so would you pick one and stick with it?"

Garrus chuckled. "Very well then, Shepard it is." Garrus had started dragging her by the time that they had made it to the door leading to the Normandy with Tali slowly trailing behind them with her arms out in front of her just in case. The wait during decontamination seemed longer than usual with the weight of the weakened Commander leaning against him. While getting to the Normandy Tali had radioed Chakwas telling her what had happened and that there should be medical attention immediately, and medical attention there was. She was shifting from foot to foot when the doors opened and revealed a gurney. Garrus led Shepard to the gurney and lifted her onto it. He looked up worriedly at Chakwas.

"Garrus, she's going to be alright from what I see the suit caught most of the impact." Chakwas said looking intently at Shepard. He nodded and let the doctor wheel her away to the med bay and awaited for the Commander to heal.

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A/N: I know this is kind of short but I wanted to get something anything out before shit hits the fan at school. So yeah the usual, please review. Oh! And thank you for everyone that reviewed as guests! You should all get accounts so I can thank you properly next time!


	7. Chapter 7

Wow here we are. Chapter seven already. I'd just like to thank everyone again, you've all been such wonderful and kind readers! Oh and the last chapter was not very good in my opinion I got really bored halfway through and rushed it, but I didn't want to dither around it so I wanted it off my plate so yeah. Also I have had a request to make the chapters longer so longer they will be! They may you know take longer to write but I will make it longer just for you Cassy0625 (bwahaha, yes I'm naming you in particular). Anyway half of you may not even read this part cause I know when I see an author note this long I go "ugh. Now I must scroll farther. And now the lies of the word count have begun. Ugh" So I'll stop my insane rant now. Okay, go read now. Seriously go read it.

Disclaimer: All of these characters belong to bioware. Also I realize now that I didn't do one for chapter six. Oh well, if they hunt me down, so be it.

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Shepard woke up with a headache that would make someone with the worst hangover cringe in pain. And that she did, cringe. Every part of body just unnecessarily _hurt_. She scrunched up her eyebrows trying to remember what the hell had even happened. She sat there for ten minutes staring intently at her drawn knees before everything came back to her. Tali and Garrus had been with her on the ship and then not even twenty feet into the friggen ship, a fire (she believed from the looks of herself) containment cell explodes larger than any other she had seen before. After that everything was a blur except for the conversation she had with Garrus. Shepard sighed in relief, she had been a little worried that there was going to be some sort of memory loss accompanying the stitches in the back of her head. The doors of the med bay opened revealing the Turian that she had thought of just seconds earlier. He looked very distracted as he tapped away on a data pad and was mumbling things too low for her to hear. He stopped in the middle of the room and continued to tap away. Shepard frowned at being ignored. She then mentally slapped her forehead. He wasn't _ignoring_ her, he probably didn't even know that she was awake. Her frown deepened, actually it seems like nobody knew she was awake. She stared at Garrus, wondering how someone usually so on edge, so focused, could be so _goddamn oblivious_. She sighed quietly and lay back down, closing her eyes. Maybe she'd learn something interesting if she just lay there unmoving. She heard the sigh come from the long standing Turian and then the swoosh of the opening doors.

"Is she still unconscious?" The familiar English accent came from where Garrus was standing.

"I don't know. I just got in." He sighed heavily. "Chakwas, she's been out a lot longer than I thought she was going to be."

There was movement, some shuffling, Shepard assumed that someone was sitting down. "And so did I." She snorted. "I predicted a day and a half, and it's been what four now?" Shepard froze. _Four days_. No, they must have known that she was awake and that this was some sort of terribly not funny joke. She decidedly thought that she was ready to become not unconscious after _four fucking days, _and let out a groan and slowly opened her eyes. By the time that her eyes were fully open Chakwas was standing on her left with a data pad in hand and Garrus on her right gripping onto his own data pad. She smiled groggily. "Hey you two."

Chakwas smiled largely and Garrus shook his head and spoke. "Hey there sleepy head."

Chakwas snorted. "Alright you two stop that. Now Shepard I'm going to ask you a series of questions to make sure everything is okay."

"Go for it" Shepard said cockily.

Chakwas was certain that she was alright mentally but it was Alliance protocol. "Alright, so do you remember what mission you were going on?"

"I think we stumbled upon a ship called...the MSV Worthington? Is that was?" Shepard looked at Garrus who nodded his head.

Chakwas frowned and smacked Garrus with her data pad. "No helping!" Garrus shied away sheepishly and chuckled a little before turning and sitting on the cot next to Shepard. Chakwas straightened out her uniform and proceeded with the questioning. "Good. Who did you take with you?"

"I believe that I took this smart ass over here and Tali."

Chakwas laughed. "Very good. Now what happened when you got on the ship?"

Shepard sighed. "I was dumb and didn't think about sabotaged containment cells. But then there was one and boom! I hit a wall from the explosion and I don't remember anything after that."

Chakwas typed away on her data pad, nodding and humming as she had listened to the explanation. "Yes that's all in order. Now I have to do a physical examination." Chakwas started at Garrus who was looking at his data pad. He looked up to meet Chakwas and over to Shepard.

"Oh! Well, ahem yes I'll just go and do stuff."

"It's alright he can stay if he wants to." Garrus froze from his position of getting off the cot.

Chakwas looked skeptically at Shepard. "Are you...certain?" Shepard shook her head. Chakwas shook her head in disbelief. "Well, alright then. I'd like you to remove your nightgown." Shepard nodded and looked back at Garrus who had yet to move from his awkward position.

Shepard laughed. "You know Garrus you are allowed to leave. If you want to." Shepard put her predator smile on.

Garrus chuckled nervously. "Um if it's okay I guess I'll stay and work?" He made the statement into a question causing Chakwas and Shepard to giggle.

"I already said it was Garrus." Shepard said smiling genuinely. Garrus nodded his head and sat back on the cot and refocused his attention towards the data pad. Shepard tore her eyes away from the Turian and started the process of removing her nightgown.

* * *

Garrus was very very distracted right at this moment. He couldn't help but look up from his data pad every couple seconds because of the undressing Commander sitting before him. It was the most painful process he had ever been through. The Commander took her sweet time taking it off, the wounds being the cause of course but it was still the best kind of torture. Human skin was so, odd. It was (on Shepard at least) pale and smooth looking with scars over it. Garrus couldn't help himself when he leaned towards Shepard examining the lined skin before him. Shepard smiled looking at Chakwas when she heard the Turian shift behind her. Chakwas raised her eyebrow inquisitively as she looked at the bruised on her rib cage. Shepard slightly shook her head and continued to smile. There was a long silence before any of the three spoke. Chakwas looked at her data pad and cleared her throat to speak. "Well it seems that you're healing up quite nicely, Commander." She then smiled and walked over to the closet to retrieve a uniform for Shepard. Shepard carefully swivelled herself around to face the Turian with with a big goofy grin after Chakwas had put the clothing beside her and left the room, muttering something about coffee.

"Clothing is overrated anyway."

Garrus laughed and shook his head. "I've never seen this much of a human before and I just _have to say it_. You humans are just so squishy," He said with a giant smile on his face. Shepard pursed her lips and squinted her eyes. In one quick movement Shepard poked Garrus in the head. Garrus leaned back startled, while Shepard laughed at his reaction and astonished face.

Garrus shook his head and frowned. "Wha-what was that for?"

Shepard took the next five minutes trying to subdue the giggles that were escaping. She attempted to compose herself and barely succeeded. "I wasn't going to go and break my hand by punching you on the shoulder, Mr. I own-nothing-other-than-armour." She said while giggling at herself.

Garrus stared confused at Shepard behaviour when it hit him. The drugs that Chakwas gave Shepard could have certain side effects and... what ever this was was Shepard's. "Alright Shepard. You're acting like this because of your medication." he said hoping for any semblance of seriousness. Alas there was none. Garrus sighed at the continuously giggling Shepard and decided to take action. "Okay Shepard, listen to me very carefully." Shepard's eye widened and she leaned in close to Garrus. "You are going to have to put on your clothing, alright?" She nodded vigorously. "Okay then." Garrus muttered under his breath as he waited for her to climb down from the cot. It was a slow process, waiting for the wobbly woman to not hurt herself while she got dressed. It was just perfect when she got stuck in her shirt and then Garrus had to help her out of her predicament. He then had to steady her as she attempted to put on her pants. Where was Chakwas when you needed her? Garrus shook his head and started to aid her in walking to the door. She, however, threw a tiny hissy fit.

"No Garrus I walk by myself _just fine_." She shrugged him off.

He snorted. "If you say so but I'm just going to point out that I'm not the one who needed help with putting my pants." Shepard stuck her tongue out at him as she wobbled to the door. Garrus carefully walked behind her with his hands out before him, _just_ in case. Chakwas looked up at them as they entered the room and she immediately frowned.

She pointed her finger in the direction of the Commander's room. "Straight to bed with you missy." Missy? Garrus frowned at the name that was not associated with the Commander normally.

Shepard pouted. "But, but, but-"

Chakwas shook her head. "_No buts_. Go to your room immediately." Shepard sighed dramatically and started wobbling to her room. Garrus beckoned towards Shepard. Chakwas raised her eyebrows. "Well, go _with her_. Make sure she doesn't kill herself on the way." Garrus put up his hands defensively and hurried after Shepard. He found her very close by, talking to an Alliance officer.

"_And you tell Hackett that we deserve a hot tub and a bar_." Garrus groaned and slapped his hands over his face. The woman sounded _drunk _because of the medication. He came up behind her and pushed her towards her room. She exclaimed protests but did nothing to actually stop the process. Garrus got her to her room and led her to her bed. Garrus turned to leave when Shepard grabbed a hold of his hand. He turned to see her, eyes closed smiling. "Garrus thank you, for being there."

Garrus was about to say he was just doing his job when he knew that was udder bullshit. He swallowed . "I'll always be there for you." he said these words shakily and quickly went out of the room to continue working on the stupid repairs for the Mako.

* * *

Shepard groaned when she opened her eyes. She sat up slowly not knowing whether to hold her head or her side from the mass amounts of pain. She looked over to her clock and saw that the time was three am. She sighed and didn't bother getting up when she saw the bottle along with a note beside her bed. The note read:

_Shepard,_

"_The doctor asked me to put these beside your bed in case you wake up at an odd time. Also she changed the medication because the last one had... odd side effects."_

_Get better soon, Garrus_

She smiled at the note and took the appropriate dosage. She then looked around her room, realizing that she had done nothing for a long time and was now really bored. She looked at her omni-tool and her eyes to the door. She had put the orange device on silent ever since _the thing_ happened. She bit her lip and opened her messages damning herself for her "stupid curiosity". She read that there was ten unread messages from her secret admirer. She stared at the number for a long time and then decided that she should just get it over with and read the damn messages.

* * *

_Message 1 – 10 days ago_

_To, Shepard_

_Good morning, sunshine. I've been thinking about what I said last night and I've done you wrong. You just got out of a relationship and you don't really need a new guy hounding you every second of the day , so I've decided that I'm going to send you one everyday. I don't what they are all going to be about but you are going to find them endearing, just trust me on that one. Although getting trust from you is going to be tough. I could be labelled as some creepy stalker but I'll have you know that I don't follow you around because I actually have important things to do that don't involve you. Shocking I know really since all I've talked to you is about you. So that's my heads up, only once a day will you have to worry about me._

_From, Anonymous_

* * *

Shepard snorted and continued reading them.

* * *

_Message 2 – 9 days ago_

_To, Shepard_

_Wow so you are taking this whole not talking to me very seriously. Alright I can respect that decision. But I heard some people grumbling about not having their messages returned so I'm going to assume that you just put it on silent. You really shouldn't do that you know there could be some kind of emergency. I have nothing to say really not until you reply back._

_From, Anonymous_

* * *

_Message 3 – 8 day ago _

_To, Shepard_

_I should have **been there**. When that containment cell exploded I should have been the one to get the brunt of the damage. Not you, never you. _

_From, Anonymous_

* * *

_Message 4 – 7 days ago_

_I feel so useless, seeing you lying there, hurt, looking helpless while I'm there helpless._

_Helpless. That is a word I would have thought to never associate with you. You the strongest woman from any species that I have ever met. The woman that will charge a charging Krogan, a woman that will do anything for those around her. But right now you can't. Seeing you indisposed makes me realize just what you do for everyone around the ship (I'm guessing that you know I'm on the ship). I can't believe how dependant an entire crew could be on their captain. You command great loyalty here Shepard. _

_From, Anonymous_

* * *

_Message 5 – 6 days ago_

_To, Shepard_

_I ah don't really know what to do when I don't see you going around talking and laughing with the various other people and species on the ship. It seems emptier when you're not around._

_From, Anonymous_

* * *

_Message 6 – 5 days ago_

_To, Shepard_

_Shepard I almost shot someone in the face today. Well not __**really, **__you don't have to worry about me being a liability or a danger. It's just that they got all up in my face and said certain things I did not appreciate as a member of your crew and I snapped back. I'm sure that this is just a one time thing that I won't have to deal with a lot but you know. I thought that you should know everyone is on edge without you_.

_From, Anonymous_

* * *

_Message 7__ –__ 4 days ago_

_To, Shepard_

_So you moved around this morning, which the doc said is a very good sign. I'm tired of seeing you lying there. Honestly Shepard quit being so damn lazy and get back to work. You've had your rest. I know you would say something silly like I'll rest when I'm dead, if I told you to rest but that isn't physically possible so there you have it. Sorry if I sound odd, I just haven't really been talking to people. There are more important matters at hand you know._

_From, Anonymous_

* * *

_Message 8 – 3 days ago_

_To, Shepard _

_There was a mission today. Kaiden, Liara and Wrex went to a planet to deal with those mercs you promised Helena Blake you said you'd get rid of. They come back with the Mako pretty undamaged so somebody was going to be happy about that. __We stopped by the citadel and spoke to Anderson. He sounded pretty worried when we told him that you'd been out for the past six days. You're really lucky, he's like your father in a way, always worrying about you. Other than that nothing around the ship that is interesting has happened._

_From, Anonymous_

* * *

_Message 9 – 2 days ago_

_To, Shepard_

_Hey you're finally awake sleepy head! Albeit you're a little, ah different. You requested a hot tube and a bar, and I at least am in agreement with this request. Not going to lie I didn't really know what a hot tube was but now I know and it's a little weird but a relaxation thing so you definitely need one. So high stressed all the time. Remember to take deep breaths. Breath in, then out. Apparently that's relaxing too but we breath all the time so I don't get it._

_From, Anonymous_

* * *

_Message 10 – 1 day ago_

_To, Shepard_

_Haha I knew you being awake had been too good to be true, but you have to get those wacked out drugs out of your system and you're just sleeping them off. And I'm okay with this because I know that you are not seriously wounded just exhausted. So yeah it's like I've made a diary for you and that's embarrassing __but it's too late I've sent them all. So Shepard it'll be good to start talking with you once more._

_From, Anonymous_

Shepard read the messages over shaking her head at some and smiling sadly at others. Why hadn't Garrus just told her that it was him? What a dork. But no, she was going to have her own fun since he had his.

* * *

A/N: TADA! This was longer, a lot longer than the last one. Do we like longer? Why am I saying we? My opinion doesn't matter if you all say yes. Or no that could maybe an answer too, I won't rule that out. And if any of you are wondering it's just under 2900 words. Yeah, no cheap using the AN or any shenanigans like that. It's also 1 in the morning but I'm just really excited that I've done it and who needs sleep anyway?


	8. Chapter 8

Oh why hello people. Do you remember me? Cause I remember all of you lovely people. And you are all of my favourite people. And I'm sorry because I know a lot of you really look forward to my story and that makes me sad that I couldn't get it out sooner and I'm sorry for using people far too much. Sorry. Anyway to explain my awful absence, schoooool. Ugh, school am I right? Like four thousand word essay, that was super fun. I just love high school so much I want to cry. All the time. Whooo.

But back to the story, and in case you forgot Shepard figured out that it is Garrus. How?, many of you ask. Well just wait and see and I'll make it up as I go along.

AND GARRUSTADDICT101 YOU MADE ME SO HAPPY I LIKE JUST CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR AND CRIED OF HAPPINESS.

Disclaimer: In under no circumstances are these my characters *sobs in the corner quietly*

* * *

Garrus stared up at the ceiling. He looked at the clock, it read four forty-five. He sighed, for it was far too early to get out of bed. So he let his mind wander. He wondered if what he was doing to Shepard was right. He only had good intentions and he was just testing the waters, he wanted to see if she would no- _could _have any intimate relationships with another species. He shook his head at the thought. _Inter species relationships. _Never in his lifetime did he think that he would be attracted to an alien and a _human_ for that matter. After the First Contact war tensions rose very high between the two races, like they would. Garrus thought that he'd never be able to actually have a civil conversation with, let alone fall in _love _with one. Wait? He thought. Love? _Love? _He shot up and placed his head into his hands. By the Spirits when had his fascination turned into _love_? He suddenly remembered his father. His father would murder him if he learned that he was in love with a human. A human that was a spectre none the less. He snorted and then that snort turned into a chuckle, which turned into an outright cackle.

"Ah hey there Garrus?" Garrus choked on his laugh and started gasping for air as the object of his infatuation hit him on the back.

"Ah Commander-"

"You agreed on Shepard, Garrus."

"Sorry, _Shepard, _I was just thinking about how disappointed my father would be in me if I told him about everything that's happening." He smiled shaking his head.

Shepard frowned and had her mouth opened slightly. In one quick movement she smacked Garrus in the back of the head and crossed her arms. "You're telling me you haven't even _spoken _to your father since this all began?"

Garrus shot his head towards her. "Don't be ridiculous of course I have told him about this." He failed his arms about in all directions.

Shepard giggled at this ridiculous motion. "Well then, what haven't you told him about?" She asked subtly while making a circular motion on Garrus' cot.

He shook his head. "You know Shepard, all of your companions have their secrets. Sorry but this is mine."

Shepard huffed and crossed her arms once again. "Party pooper."

Garrus cocked his head to the side. "Party..._pooper? _You know what? I don't even really want to know. Don't even." He raised his finger when Shepard opened her mouth. "No. But anyway, Shepard you know it's not even five o'clock yet right?" They both looked over to the clock that read four fifty-seven.

Shepard sighed. "I've honestly only been bothering you for five minutes?" She then groaned. "My day officially starts at five thirty. I've been up since three. Also I thought that someone might be awake, so far only you has been the most interesting person that's been up." She shook her head. "Sorry for bitching about my sleeping schedule. It's been a little out of wack lately."

Garrus shrugged. "It's alright, mine's not really been a schedule for a while now. Although I'm guessing that Prothean beacon isn't helping right?" Shepard nodded. The two stared at their surroundings for a couple minutes when an alarm went off. "Ah it is now three after five." Shepard cocked her head quizzically. "Well you see Wrex-"

"Wrex usually wakes up at exactly three minutes after five every single day but seeing as Wrex sleeps near a mad man, Wrex has been up since twenty to five." They saw Wrex with his arms crossed leaning against the Mako.

"Ah sorry Wrex. I swear I'll keep my mad rantings to myself next time." Garrus said smirking. Wrex grunted and left them to their own devices. Garrus sighed.

Shepard smiled. "I don't hear you doing that much."

Garrus gave her a questioning look. "You don't hear me doing what much?"

"Sighing. It seems like that that's my new way of introducing conversations. Also you never complain about anything to me, nor do you give me advice or ask me any questions. Why is that?"

Garrus shrugged and looked at his feet. "I guess I just think that you have enough on your plate and don't need me to give you more shit to worry about."

Shepard frowned. "Do you have a problem? Cause you know I actually like hearing about my crews problems, it's kind of my thing."

Garrus chuckled but slowly returned to his solemn air while staring at his feet. "Well do you remember that guy that got away from me, Dr. Saleon?" Shepard nodded. "Well I'm pretty sure that I found him again. Under the name of Dr. Heart nonetheless." He snorted his disgust.

Shepard leaned toward him. "Are you _sure _that it's him?" He nodded. "Alright then I trust your judgement. Just send me the coordinates and we'll check it out, and _then _we'll go see what is happening on Feros."

Garrus stood up and looked down at Shepard. "There's no need for that Shepard, Feros is a top priority mission and Dr. Saleon doesn't know we're coming so we have plenty of time." Shepard rose her brow and Garrus chuckled. "Or… we could just do whatever you please." Shepard smiled and Garrus offered a hand to her. She took it and stumbled into Garrus. Her forearms leaned against the already armoured Turian and looked up at him. They stood in that position for a solid five minutes before either of them realized the position that they were in. Garrus coughed and stepped away from Shepard while she rubbed the back of her head. Garrus cleared his throat. "Uh, thank you Shepard. For what you're going to do for me."

Shepard smiled. "Of course you know that I'd do anything for you, you do know that right?"

Garrus blinked at her. "Well, if I didn't before I know that now."

Shepard nodded and moved out from behind the Mako and Garrus followed. What they found was a very peculiar sight. What they found was the majority of the usual ground team waiting around, and chatting with each other. Shepard moved towards the group with a questioning frown. "Is there something wrong?"

Everyone shook their heads and Liara was the first to speak. "No not at all Shepard, it just seems we all have something to discuss with you."

Wrex shrugged. "I don't have anything new or exciting to say but when everyone else got on the elevator I thought I'd join and see what all the fuss was about." His face took on a deadpan look. "It's boring, so I'm going to go eat."

Shepard hummed in agreement. "You all know my morning routine, shower, eat, then talking. So go eat."

Everyone grumbled and Shepard heard Ashley whisper to Kaiden. "Why does Garrus get to talk to her but not anyone else before her morning routine."

Shepard guessed that Garrus heard them to for when he stood behind them on the elevator she could hear his last words before the doors shut. "She came to talk to me about her. I did no such thing to disrupt her routine." Shepard let out a cackle, startling the Requisitions officer who she had to yet to memorize his name. She murmured a quiet sorry while trying to stifle her giggles and made her way to the showers continuing on with her morning routine that everyone had supposed to follow but that lately had seem to gone out through the window.

* * *

Shepard sat down with her tray of food. She started to eat her oatmeal and raised the spoon to her mouth when she sighed and set it down. "Is there something that you need?" She picked up her spoon and looked at them while eating. Everyone looked down towards their own meals and poked at the food before them. She sighed once again and set her fork down awaiting an answer from the suddenly sheepish people of her usually rowdy party. She raised her eyebrow questioning their quietness and their shyness. She bit her bottom lip, sighed and stood up. Those who had their heads previously bowed looked up at her as she moved towards where the trays were dropped. She turned to the group. "If you want to talk to me then you must come _to me_, none of this running around to find out who actually wants to talk to me. I will be in my quarters for the rest of the day." She started to leave but stopped abruptly and turned to stare directly at Garrus who froze in his tracks as she seemed to stare through him at that point. "Except from 13:00 to an unknown amount of time, there is something really important that I have to do. Garrus and Ashley I expect the both of you to be suited up and ready to leave at that time." The both of them nodded and she left to her quarters mumbling to herself.

* * *

Ashley let out a giant sigh. "Jeeze what crawled up her ass and died?" She said looking in the direction that Shepard had left in. Joker chocked on his drink and Kaiden looked incredulously at her.

"Ashley, that is highly inappropriate!" he said shocked that she had said that _especially _after the commander. "Besides," he added "What if she heard you? You know none of us would help you as she ripped you limb from limb." everyone chuckled as Ash sunk down into her chair. The chuckling quickly died down to have a somber feel throughout the room. Kaiden looked around the room. "So who actually needs to talk to the commander?" Almost everyone raised their hands except for Garrus and Wrex. People cocked their heads towards the two.

"Yeah Wrex I'd expect you to not have anything to say to her but Garrus? You always have something to say to her. In fact I hear her yelling at you a lot it kind of makes me uncomfortable sometimes." Ashley said with a raised eyebrow.

Garrus glared at her before speaking. "One, I don't always have to speak with sometimes she talks to me. Two, yes she does yell at me but that's because we have some differences that have to be settled and usually she always seems to be right. And three, I'm sorry that it makes you uncomfortable and I'm sorry that you feel that way." Ash blinked as he finished and she smiled.

"You know Garrus, you're alright." Garrus nodded towards her and got up and left for the elevator and Wrex followed suit.

Garrus looked over to the large Krogan next to him. "You really don't have anything to talk to her about?"

Wrex looked over to him. "I already talked to her last night. Even if I did have something to talk to her about I wouldn't because the girl needs a break." He looked back at the elevator and Garrus stared at him. He looked back to the elevator, only just realizing that Shepard is a busy woman that does everything for everyone all the time.

* * *

Shepard looked from her desk as she heard a timid knock on the door. She was guessing that it was either Tali or Liara. "Come in!" she said turning back to her data pad with a sigh. She looked up to see that, Tali, was standing looking around the room.

"Wow, Shepard you room is amazing!" She said with awe in her voice. Shepard chuckled, Tali always seemed to be in awe of something most of the time.

"So Tali what do you need?"

Tali sighed. "Um, well you know when we went to the Armstrong Nebula and then we found the planet Grissom and you received data on the Geth?" Shepard nodded. "Well, that information would be perfect for my pilgrimage."

Shepard stared at her long and hard before nodding her head. "Alright Tali, it's a deal. I'll give you a copy of the data."

Tali gasped. "Wha-really Commander?" Shepard nodded and smiled. "Ah you have no idea what this means to me! Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Tali quickly hugged her and scurried out of the room and Shepard chuckled to herself.

"Well someone seems happy."

"So Ash, tired of being a basement rat?"

"Basement rat? I am no such thing, Skipper. But you know that I'm not here to talk about that. What I wanted to say was that I think that I have changed my mind about things." She said sheepishly looking at her feet.

Shepard raised her eyebrow. "That's, good?"

Ashley sighed. "The whole, ah, racism thing. I can move past that now that I've actually spoken to them. I've realized that they are the same as myself, and so on and so forth."

Shepard couldn't help but let a big grin appear on her face. "Ash, you have no idea how happy that makes me to hear you say that. The harmony of the group in combat is going to grow exponentially because of you."

Ash stared at her. "Right I have no idea what you just said so I'm just going to get the line continuing." She left the room and beckoned for another person to come in. Shepard saw one of the two that she had been dreading to talk to one-on-one. Lieutenant Kaiden Alenko.

She, however, smiled and pretended like she was about to enjoy this conversation. "Hey Kaiden what's up?"

He looked at her for a moment before speaking. "I wanted to talk about our relationship, and sorry for being so blunt but just hear me out. We've been talking and I feel like there's been a connection between the two of us and the way that we talk to the other and share the things that are personal just make me feel like we may be able to have _something_."

Shepard looked at the floor and rubbed her face. "Ah, look Kaiden. You are a great guy, you know when to be appropriate and when to be funny. The people that you care about are certainly protected but I just got out of a relationship and right now I'm not certain that well to be quite honest that humans are for me."

Kaiden raised his eyebrows. "Oh! Wow that's stupid of me, so you and the doctor have something then."

"Woah, slow down there. We are just friends and I think I'm going to have to clear that up with the good doctor too." Shepard said holding her hands up defensively. Kaiden got a sly smirk on his face. Shepard narrowed her eyes. "What is that?"

"What's what?" He asked innocently.

Shepard acquired a look that screamed flabbergasted. "Are you- _Are you being coy?_"

Kaiden chuckled and walked over to the door. He turned around to say a last thing. "And thank you Shepard for clearing that up so I could move on." And he left, with Liara coming in.

Shepard held up her hand. "I don't know what you want to talk about but let me have my two cents." Liara frowned and Shepard waved her hands telling her to ignore the saying. "Listen Liara, you are a very sweet person and I really am flattered that you have shown an interest in me, but I'm sorry, I have no romantic feelings towards you." When she finished she scratched the back of her head. Liara looked at her and laughed.

Shepard cocked her head. Liara held up her hands and Shepard waited for her to stop laughing and explain. "I'm just really thankful that I didn't have to stumble trying to get through what took you about a minute. And I think I understand. There is so obviously someone else that is in your life and how often you check your omni-tool is pretty cute." She skipped out of the room without waiting for any type of reaction.

She left Shepard slack jawed. She shook her head and scrunched up her face. "Cute." She muttered under her breath as she looked back to the data pad that had to be looked at before doing anything else. She looked at her stomach as it made an inhuman growling noise. "Man, I should not have thrown out my breakfast in my fit of irritation." She shook her head and went sadly back to the data pad.

* * *

Okay I super hate school. Does someone want to do it for me so I can do fun things like this aalllll the time. Write allll the fics! (Sorry I'm wearing my Clean all the things! Shirt and it influences me greatly.) SO. If you enjoyed this new chapter please say so. If you did not please say so. I enjoy feedback and then I can make my chapters even BETTER. And I missed all of you lovely people so much *sobbing in corner from awful school*. And I'm sorry that the how wasn't explained I just needed the stories slow part to be over with.


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